From Ethan Marxhausen in The Gustavian Weekly:
Alright, that’s enough. Ma’am? I’m serious, let go of your son. For god’s sake woman, get a grip. You’re acting like he’s going off to fight the Communists or something. Come on, he’s not going to die, ma’am. There are only two-hundred thirty-three different ways to die on this campus, twenty fewer than St. Olaf. So we’ve got that going for us.
Go ahead and cry all you want, I don’t care. Bake some cookies for him and you’ll feel loads better.
Come here, kid, let me pry you away. And don’t you dare wave goodbye to your family, or everyone will think you’re a pansy.
Funny. Now if anyone could explain to me the St. Olaf reference, I’d appreciate it.