‘Met you last night. You gave me the wrong number’

Oh, dear person who got a wrong number from a woman at a bar, you have united a small corner of the world.

Carlos Zetina only found out the woman’s name was “Nicole” when they met at a bar near the University of Calgary; the number he wrote down from her was wrong. So on Friday, he sent emails to every Nicole at the university (psst, University of Calgary: are you kidding me?) — all 246 of them, the CBC reports.

Big shock. He didn’t find the real Nicole.

But now there’s a “Nicole Club” at the university.

When she saw the first email Friday morning Nicolette Riley chuckled, as the night before was “ThursDen” — the party night at The Den, an on-campus bar. And then, the responses started coming in from other Nicoles.

“When the emails started rolling through I was just so excited, it instantly made me feel less lonely on campus,” said Riley. “And now we’re a group! It’s great.”

Zetina said the university’s email had a directory, so it only took him a few minutes to copy anyone with Nicole in their name to the message.

“I didn’t want her to think I was a bad guy for not texting her, she did give me her number,” he said of why he decided to send the email.

Some Nicoles were students, some alumni, and some faculty — an associate dean was even included on the list.

“There’s a researcher in the group, who, she and I have similar research interests, so we’re actually going to collaborate in future,” said Nicole Thompson. “I think it’s fantastic.”

Now there’s a Facebook group — Nicole from Last Night.

But the real Nicole isn’t in it. She never read the email from Zetina although she says she’ll be happy to meet with him over coffee as just friends.

Zetina says his former girlfriend was named Nicole too, which isn’t a little creepy at all.

  • John

    It’s stories like this that remind me how glad I am to have been married for the last 16 years.

    Dating (or finding someone to date) was torture enough back then. Everything I’ve seen about finding a mate in 2018 tells me it’s so much worse now. Thanks internet.

    • I don’t know if it is or not. Was in North Carolina this weekend for the nephew of a wedding. In thanking everyone for coming, he also thanked Tinder.

      Between that and the explosion of coffee shops, I think it might actually be easier now.

      • >>Between that and the explosion of coffee shops, I think it might actually be easier now.<<

        I found a long time GF through The Current's forum, and my wife through Fark.com (not a dating site). Who needs a "dating" site.

        🙂

        • Kassie

          Fark is very much not a dating site. I can’t imagine how you met her on there, but good for you!

      • lindblomeagles

        I’m forced to agree with Bob too. My wife and I met on a dating website, and we’re celebrating our 11th year of marriage next month. My first wife? I met her on campus in 1990. Like Carlos here, I thought she was the one. Numerous hints along the way should have told me otherwise. Still not sure why she married me, but 6 years later, I was definitely happy when we divorced. Speaking of her, she’s divorced a second man. Isn’t love grand?

        • Rob

          Gods bless serial monogamy. : )

      • seedhub

        It’s both easier and harder.

        The biggest advantage of dating websites is that you can meet so many more people than you would otherwise. That’s also the biggest disadvantage, though: when you have that many more potential dates, each one becomes a little less valuable. People are less inclined to make the initial effort to get to know each other when they see there are a hundred (or a thousand) other possibilities in the queue.

  • Rob

    I’m thinking a blacksmithing class would be a good way to meet someone…

  • Barton

    “But the real Nicole isn’t in it. She never read the email from Zetina although she says she’ll be happy to meet with him over coffee as just friends.”

    I really doubt that she’d be happy to meet him. There is a reason women give the wrong numbers to men, and it isn’t because we want to see them again…..

  • Guest

    Likely an easy way to say I don’t like you, possibly a sheer transcription mistake. Give the guy a nod for his efforts

    • Kassie

      No, don’t give the guy a nod for his effort. What he did is creepy and scary. She obviously wasn’t interested in him, so she gave him the wrong number, but he couldn’t take no for an answer and did this stunt instead. Good thing is now the whole campus knows what a creep he is and can stay away from him.

      • I figured she gave him the wrong number on purpose too. But then she confirmed that he must’ve written it down wrong, suggesting that she gave him the correct one.

        • Kassie

          I’m thinking she is afraid to look like a bitch. Everyone woman on the internet knows what happens if the internet turns against you. She would have all of 4Chan posting her home address and men across the globe calling her names and threatening her. For me, the telling part is she would be happy to meet him for coffee as a friend. You don’t give your phone number to someone at the bar in hopes of having a new coffee friend.

          • Kat S.

            Yeah pretty much. Once this got on the news she had little choice but to show willing. So he got what he wanted.

        • lolwut? (Deplorable Hoser)

          Or maybe she’s being pressured to pretend she didn’t.

          Women are hard wired to want to be liked.

          This guys behavior is a clear sign of stalker like behavior.

          • But why ID yourself?

          • jon

            How many nicole’s from holland on the university? Some one was likely to ID her if she didn’t come forward. This way she gets to control the narrative.

          • lolwut? (Deplorable Hoser)

            That’s exactly what happened with the woman Justin Trudeau groped.

          • lolwut? (Deplorable Hoser)

            Because she’s young and being pressured. Afraid to be labelled a bitch.

            You look old enough to spot the signs of a desperate stalker/creep who doesn’t take no for an answer by now.

          • jon

            And re-reading the email that was sent… he took her home, or maybe to her friends home… either way there is a likelihood that he knows where she (or her friend) lives, and that’s a big opportunity for escalation with a guy who is already demonstrated some fairly aggressive behavior (emailing all the nicoles)…

            By agreeing to meet, in a public place for coffee as friends, carlos got put into the friend zone, and she gets to have some better control any future encounters.

      • Creepy and scary … and borderline “involuntary celibate” awkward? Guy was concerned Nicole would think he didn’t text her the next day. Hey, guy. There is a reason why women don’t give someone their real phone number. It’s because they don’t want you to text them the next day.

      • crystals

        Right. I honestly don’t even care whether she gave him the wrong number intentionally or not. What he chose to do, though – mass email every person on campus with the name Nicole – is BONKERS.

      • seedhub

        “She obviously wasn’t interested in him”

        I’m not sure how that’s “obvious.” She gave him her number — and, according to her, it was actually her number.

        • Kassie

          But it wasn’t her number. And she only now wants to have coffee as friends. That says to me she’s not interested.

          • seedhub

            She said it was her number, and we have no reason to think she’s lying.

            The fact that she now wants to have coffee as friends does indicate that she’s not interested — but entirely after the fact.

          • Jerry

            Giving a wrong number is a non-confrontational way (and honestly, safer) way of getting rid of a guy at a bar who doesn’t get the message.

          • seedhub

            I agree. But given the real possibility that the number was written down incorrectly, it wasn’t an “obvious” indication that she wasn’t interested.

    • lolwut? (Deplorable Hoser)

      No, it’s creepy and a red flag warning to stay away.

  • crystals

    Take the hint, Carlos.

    I admire the convening of the Nicole’s, but this is also a story about a guy who might not have a great sense of boundaries with women.

    • lolwut? (Deplorable Hoser)

      Just like male Feminists…..

      Men were warning women about them for decades and they choose to ignore it
      and now there are literally dozens of cases of prominent male “Feminists” who
      go on to attack and rape women… god knows what the guys who aren’t well known are getting away with.

      • if people don’t know what guys who aren’t well known are getting away with at this point, it’s because they don’t want to know.

  • lolwut? (Deplorable Hoser)

    Wow, these women are dumb as a bag of rocks..

    This just screams STALKER.

    Men were warning women to beware of men who claim to be “Feminists” and look how that’s working out, all of those guys turned out to be creeps and rapists like we said.
    but do men get thanks for the warning. nope. we get attacked.

    • Rob

      Referring to women as being dumber than a bag of rocks and saying all men who claim to be feminists are rapists suggests that you may be the one that is smarts-impaired.

      • lolwut? (Deplorable Hoser)

        I said “THESE WOMEN”. not ALL women.

        I’m old enough to know this is type of behavior is a huge red flag
        for stalking behavior and a guy who doesn’t like to take no for an answer.

        The same goes for male feminists, they tend to be the beta creeps who can’t compete against other men so they take the sneeky route becoming “Allies”.

        There is laundry list of men who claimed to be feminists and are now
        being exposed as creeps and in some cases charged with rape.

        Justin Trudeau is one of them.,

  • 212944

    “Zetina says his former girlfriend was named Nicole too, which isn’t a little creepy at all.”

  • Jack

    Read the CBC link and it makes this even more troubling.

    After my sister was stalked in college, I kept my personal information from being published in the student directory at the same college.

    To this day, I’m very careful and it’s been over 39 years.

  • lindblomeagles

    Just one man’s opinion, I don’t think Carlos Zetina is “creepy” or a “stalker.” Creeps and, certainly stalkers, are a lot more cautious than Carlos was, which is why, and how, creeps and stalkers successfully get victims. Stalkers in particular silently follow and mysteriously show up at places where their victims are. This guy legitimately tried to publicly find her. I think better words to describe Carlos would be desperate, low self esteem, not enough confidence, nerdy, etc. I’m also suspicious of “Nicole.” I don’t think Nicole gave Carlos the wrong number because she thought he was a stalker. I think she played Carlos because Carlos didn’t meet her high standards of a guy. I think she enjoyed a good laugh at her ploy and the “guy” she ditched. Listen, some women just aren’t nice. Carlos may have gone out of his way to impress this woman, or may have decided she “Was the One” before he really knew her, but the group of “Nicoles” had a good time because of his efforts (according to this photo) and that to me is worth attributing to Carlos’s character. This may not mean much either, but, the “Nicoles” didn’t say Carlos was inappropriate or weird when he called them.

    • lindblomeagles

      The quotes that make me feel the way I do, ““I didn’t want her to think I was a bad guy for not texting her, she did give me her number,” he (Carlos) said of why he decided to send the email. “When the emails started rolling through I was just so excited, it instantly made me feel less lonely on campus,” said Riley, (a student, I believe). “And now we’re a group! It’s great.”

      • Kassie

        Ah yes, he must be a “nice guy.” That’s why he took to publicly shaming her. That’s what that email was, public shaming.

        Most women know to look out of the self-proclaimed “nice guy.” They are some of the worst.

        • seedhub

          Maybe I missed something, but how was the email he sent “public shaming”?

          • Kassie

            Sending an email to more than 200 people is public. It is now all over the internet, also public.

          • Kellpa07

            That’s one half of the equation. You missed the “shaming.”

          • Kat S.

            Because if Nicole admits she gave him a wrong number, she opens herself up to public censure for not “being straight” with him. And if she’d felt safe being honest she wouldn’t have used a wrong number.
            It’s like your grandmother telling your mother that you never call her and she’s afraid you lost her number.
            The idea is that you won’t admit to mom that you don’t want to talk to grandma so you’re forced to call. Only with 200 strangers standing in for your mom.

          • seedhub

            Is it possible to shame someone when you don’t even know who they are or how to find them?

          • Kassie

            Ah, but he gave her and her friend a ride home. So he knew where one of them lived. So he did know how to find her.

          • lindblomeagles

            The larger question is why did she get in the car with him in the first place after she had already given him a false number?

          • seedhub

            I missed that part of the story. I still don’t understand how this is “public shaming,” given that he neither identified her publicly nor shamed her.

          • Kat S.

            Yep. That’s exactly what public call-outs are for.

          • seedhub

            I’m not sure I understand. You think the purpose of this email was to shame the woman?

          • lindblomeagles

            That part is easy to see. What I don’t understand is why she asked Carlos to give her and her friend a ride home???? If you read Carlos’s plea, he mentions that he did that. Thus, she couldn’t have been too afraid of him if she’s in a car with him heading some place else.

          • lindblomeagles

            If you read the chain of emails, his emails do not rise to shaming. In fact, according to the email he even brings up a subject they discussed, Nietsche. He also apparently drove this woman and her friend home while this woman not only wasn’t interested in a second date, she had this guy thinking her name was Nicole and never once tried to end the deception. If anything, Carlos got shamed, and that is proven by the emails he received from the other Nicoles.

          • lindblomeagles

            Kassie, today’s younger generation puts everything on the Internet. Just because it is on the Internet doesn’t mean it is shaming. Next, his email took an unexpected consequence. He meant to contact JUST the students at the University. His audience disseminated the email to other people outside the University. That’s not really his fault.

        • lindblomeagles

          First, Kassie, he didn’t publicly shame the woman. In fact, the story suggests the exact opposite, and his own quote says, “He didn’t want Nicole to get the idea he wasn’t going to call her.” He DID waste time chasing her when some other woman at the bar would have been more interesting (and worthy of his time). Second, the woman who gave him a phony number didn’t crucify this guy the way you are. She gave him a phony number, went about her business, and just now found out he did this. What he did is not romantic, but if you read the article, he wasn’t a jerk to her. He didn’t threaten her. And he didn’t accuse the other women of lying to him when they told him they weren’t the Nicole he was looking for.

    • jon

      //desperate, low self esteem, not enough confidence, nerdy

      I’ll give you one out of four (and one maybe)…

      Low self esteem doesn’t usually take to announcing to a world (or the portion of a university named nicole) that a woman gave him the wrong number, nor is it a side effect of not enough confidence… perhaps a very high self esteem and high confidence, combined with a bit of desperation… (I don’t think some one would need to be nerdy to use a university directory… but doesn’t mean they aren’t… if you are hitting on women at a bar by talking about Nietzsche… the shoe might fit.)

      I don’t know the situation, and I’m not willing or qualified to pass judgement on anyone, but if I were a woman seeing that this email was sent out, I’d be creeped out more than flattered… and creeping people out is how you get the title “creep” in my opinion. and men can certainly be openly creepy.

      • Kassie

        I feel another characteristic this guy is showing is entitlement. He feels he is entitled to her number so he’s going to find another route to get it.

        • lindblomeagles

          Entitled is a good descriptive word. Still not letting the woman off the hook. In a public bar, all you have to say is not interested instead of wasting time giving somebody a phony number. I see no angels in this story, except the Nicoles’ group who seemed to have a very good time and did something productive out of this.

      • lindblomeagles

        Thank you for your opinion. I’m feeling very confident we won’t see this individual on the news hurting some woman.

  • jon

    Nicole Club, a place where everybody knows your name.

  • seedhub

    A guy who goes to great lengths to find a woman who doesn’t want to be found is a creep. A guy who goes to great lengths to find a woman who DOES want to be found is… what? Determined?

    Isn’t Carlos’ actual sin here just misunderstanding which of those two situations he was in?

    • Kat S.

      Not really. Even if Nicole wanted to be found, the tactics Carlos chose showed a poor understanding of boundaries and entitlement. It’s great the other Nicoles decided to make a club out of it but it doesn’t mean Carlos didn’t spam them all.
      And if Nicole HAD wanted him to contact her after their initial meeting, she still gets to decide she doesn’t want it after seeing what he considers logical to do with a wrong number. Going to great lengths is not always a good thing.

      • seedhub

        Going to great lengths isn’t a good thing when the woman doesn’t want to be found. That’s the difference.

        • Kat S.

          Absolutely not. Going to great lengths isn’t a good thing regardless of whether the woman wants to be found when it: inconveniences a large number of involved people, puts pressure on the woman to play nice, and shows you’re willing to ignore boundaries.
          This isn’t a rom-com.

          • seedhub

            We just went from “is not always a good thing” to “isn’t a good thing regardless” in a hurry.

            After a quick encounter, I went to considerably greater lengths to find the woman I ultimately married. It turned out to be a very, very good thing — because she was looking for me, too.

          • Kat S.

            We didn’t though. There’s a lot of space there for grand gestures that are 1) wanted and 2) not coercive, boundary-crossing, or inconvenient to strangers. I presume yours would have fallen into that territory.
            All I’m saying is that “wanted” isn’t the only criteria for a “good” grand gesture.

          • seedhub

            Understood. That isn’t the only criteria, I agree.

            Expressing interest in someone is always coercive and boundary-crossing, though: you’re forcing someone to engage you in a way that might be welcome, or might be completely abhorrent. You’re forcing a response. It’s a good thing when it’s welcome, and a bad thing when it isn’t.

            As for inconveniencing strangers, well, I can’t get too worked up about that. In all the ways someone can be inconvenienced, this seems minor at worst — especially when at least some of recipients decided to inconvenience themselves even further by forming a club.

    • Kassie

      If she really wanted him to have her number, she would have said “what’s your number?” then texted him immediately from her phone, so he would have her number. She would have ensured that he had the right number.

      • seedhub

        That’s one way of doing it, yes, and ostensibly a better way — but it doesn’t follow that simply giving a guy a number means you’re NOT interested.