It’s hopeless. Fanny packs are in style

Photo: Nick Yates.

You’re going to want to sit down for this: if you’re not wearing a fanny pack, you’re not cool.

“In today’s bizarro fashion world the dorks are the people not wearing a pack,” the Boston Globe‘s style reporter declares.

You’ll still look like an idiot wearing one, Beth Teitell reports. She tried wearing one for a day in her newsroom.

Fashion critic Sabir M. Peele said that when the packs debuted, they felt like a “punishment” — something your mom would make you wear to carry all of your stuff.

“You were already wearing neon because it was the ’80s and ’90s, and now you had this weird kangaroo pack,” he said.

But now even Vogue is on board. “Alas, due to our odd fascination with ugly throwback clothing,” the magazine wrote, “the fanny pack has been vindicated.”

Needless to say, there will come a day when the fanny pack is once again a pariah — probably after I’ve gone into credit card debt to buy a Gucci pouch.

A key to making fanny packs cool again, New York Magazine says, is calling them “waist bags.”