It’s ‘vasectomy madness’ time!

March Madness, the NCAA tournament time, is the perfect time for a vasectomy, according to some people who have figured out how to spend a few days on the couch and get sympathy for doing so.

Jim Stingl, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel columnist, reports today urology and basketball increasingly is going hand in hand.

“This didn’t use to exist,” urologist Jay Sandlow tells Stingl. “I think somebody was savvy enough that they were like, ‘Hey, what a great opportunity to market to guys with doctors’ orders that you have to sit on the couch for four days during March Madness.’ ”

Who can say ‘no’ to a vasectomy when they’re throwing in ice bags with the logo of your favorite team?

It may not surprise you that men, babies that we are when it comes to doctors and medical stuff, are reluctant to get a vasectomy and only about 10% ever do. Tubal ligations for women, a far more serious procedure, still happen twice as often.

“I think a lot of it is fear, which I totally understand. It’s an area that we spend our entire lives protecting, and this is voluntarily letting somebody do something intrusive down there,” said Sandlow, who estimates he has performed 6,000 vasectomies since 1995.

Two small tubes in the scrotum that carry baby-making sperm are cut and sealed off. It takes maybe 15 minutes, and Sandlow said he’ll play whatever kind of music you like.

If this basketball connection can bring in more men for the highly effective and safe family planning procedure, he believes that’s a good thing. These guys are taking one for the team, and in this case the teams.

It’s OK to enjoy a beer or two while watching the games afterward because narcotics are not needed for pain relief. The gold standard for icing the tender region is still a bag of frozen peas just like when I had it done a couple decades ago.

Stingl notes that the recommended position for recovering from a vasectomy — relaxing with your feet up — just happens to be the approved method for watching basketball on TV.

  • Rob

    For my snipping music, I’d go with “Basketball Jones” by Cheech and Chong.

  • MrE85

    You finally found a story that fits your blog’s name.

  • Al

    I’ll endorse Vasectomy Madness when the men of the world give the thumbs-up for any time off for recovery at home from a C-section. And before you go all #notallmen on me, go check with your wives and see how their recovery *really* went.

    • I checked with my wife.

      She’s fine as she never had any children.

      /My X-wife on the other hand…

    • Jack

      I got an infection that our son burst when kicking me in the stomach at around 2 months old. C-sections are nothing to sneeze at (that would hurt). The only good thing was at the time, the recovery period was considered to be 10 weeks so I got most of my maternity leave paid for.

  • Barton

    “Tubal ligations for women, a far more serious procedure, still happen twice as often.”

    This. So this. I don’t expect anyone to die from a snip, but I have 2 friends who almost died from from their tubal ligations – both who chose that option because their husbands were too … whatever … for a simple little procedure that is typically reversible. And yes, I blame perceived notions of what it means to be A Man for the “whatever” kept the men from stepping up.

    • Jack

      Thank you for pointing that out. My spouse declined and wanted me to go tubal ligation route. My doctor pointed out that I had already had surgery (c-section) so why should it just be me under the knife?

      He never had the surgery and I got my own bedroom.

      • Barton

        I like your doctor.

  • BJ

    Stupid me. I could have timed mine with some sports ball or what not!!

    I just did it. I did it a Thursday morning and went back to work Monday. I know I was ‘sore’ after and my wife just laughed at me, while handing me my bag of peas.

    • KariBemidji

      My husband had it done a few years ago. To this day, whenever we have peas for supper, my daughter asks, ‘these aren’t dad’s peas, are they?’ and then giggles.

      • BJ

        I’m pretty sure my kids made us throw them out…..

    • >>Who can say ‘no’ to a vasectomy when they’re throwing in ice bags with the logo of your favorite team?<<

      A bag of frozen peas is the way to go.

      /Got mine 26 years ago

  • kevins

    I got to watch the whole MN State HS Hockey Tournament that year!!! After four children, my neighbor said he would do the surgery himself, like he does for his geldings, so I opted for a urologist. Great hockey eh?

  • John O.

    True story: More than 25 years ago, I had it done after my wife’s third C-section (with complications). As I walked back into the urology waiting area afterwards, my wife looked up from her book and asked me how it went. I said with a straight face (and a falsetto voice) “Went fine.” The elderly couples sitting on either side of her completely cracked up.

    On a more serious note, you will find vasectomies are typically one of the few procedures insurance will pay for with little or no questioning.

    • kevins

      I recall needing my wife’s permission for the procedure….I thought, hey wait…it’s my parts, why should she have a say-so? But permission she gave and off to the procedure I went. Good hockey.

      • Al

        Which, quite frankly, is ridiculous. Your body. Your choice.

        • That could be true with just about anything in a marriage. But that’s not how a marriage works. Maybe seeking agreement would be more accurate than seeking permission.

          • kevins

            I’m guessing it was a liability thing…I was not humiliated, except when a (female) nurse asked me if I brought along my sperm sample at the follow-up visit.

          • jon

            humiliated because you were just asked for a sperm sample, or humiliated because you forgot to do your homework? 😉

          • kevins

            Ha!

      • 212944

        I have heard of this and always thought it strange.

        Mine was ten years ago. No permission needed from my wife. Quick and painless procedure, quick and painless recovery.

      • Barton

        “it’s my parts, why should [anyone else] have a say so?”

        That describes nearly every stage of a women’s reproductive life, from a teenager getting the 1st period right up thru menopause. Nothing seems to be our choice.

        Glad you enjoyed the hockey.

  • Rob

    No more fathering for me;
    Just had a March Madness vasectomy.
    Was thinking it’d be nice
    To recover with a bag of ice,
    But the Doc said “I disagree;
    I’m prescribing a bag of frozen peas.”

  • Rob

    Right before going under, affect your best Jack Benny impression and say: “Now doctor, cut that out!”

    • John O.

      Never went under. Local in the giblets.

      • Tim o’Bedlam

        Same here. No general, just local. Took less than 30 minutes.

      • Jerry

        “Local in the giblets”

        I don’t want to know what Thanksgiving dinner is like in your house.

        • John O.

          For the record, we usually go out and I’m not into the giblets.

  • Brian Simon

    I am amazed at how many people structure their lives around watching others play sports.

  • Tim o’Bedlam

    I figure if my wife could go through pregnancy, labor, and delivery twice, I could take one for the team and get snipped. The surgeon who performed the procedure was brusque and funny. First question he asked for the pre-surgery consult was, “Does your wife know you’re here?”
    It really wasn’t a big deal. Couple days of soreness, and two follow-up checks to make sure that I really was All Juice No Seeds.

    • Jack

      Thank you for taking one for the team.