Oh, for cute: Baseball players have nicknames

Major League Baseball will reach peak silliness this weekend later this month when it holds “Players Weekend”, outfitting its players in silly jerseys with the nicknames of players on the back.

If you’ve always wanted to own a jersey with “Sweet Lettuce” (A.J. Griffin) on the back, this is your chance because the jerseys will — surprise — be available for purchase.

But baseball is giving it the old marketing try to obscure the obvious.

“Players are increasingly interested in finding unique ways to connect with their fans by allowing them to see more of their personalities and interests,” Major League Baseball Executive Director Tony Clark said.

Did someone say “personality“?

Let’s check some of those Twins jerseys.

According to Clark, the players lobbied for the jerseys with the nicknames.

Not everyone, apparently.

  • Not everyone even HAS a nickname.

    • “Joe” would work

    • QuietBlue

      Or a personality, for that matter. 🙂

    • If I were Mauer, I would have put #BooMauer on my jersey to thumb my nose at the haters.

      • Jack Ungerleider

        Or simply BJ since many bloggers referred to him as that particularly during the post contract down years. I won’t spell it out here, but the J didn’t stand for Joe.

        • I’m pretty sure that would violate some sort of “family-friendly” restriction on nickname options.

          • Jack Ungerleider

            Oh its not what your thinking. At the risk of offending the religious among us the would refer to him as “Baby Jesus”.

          • Ah, yes. I remember that now.

          • I think he could at least go with the nickname “ShopMauerChevrolet”

  • Ervin “Magic” Santana is a fun nod to another sporting Earvin.

    Also, these jerseys won’t be worn until August 25 – 27.

  • Al

    I see “Big Sexy” is conspicuously absent.

    • Al

      Pro tip: Do not Google “Big Sexy Twins” at work when looking for an image of Bartolo Colón. #amateurmistake

  • Rob

    Let’s just nickname all of them “Overpaid” and be done with it…👀

    • Nato Coles

      How about the owners wear “Overpaid” and the players wear “Fair Market Value”?

      • Rob

        Nah.

  • Nato Coles

    Evidently Mauer is playing the long game and the next time this promotion runs, the number 7 will be accompanied by the nickname EPIC TROLL

  • Bob Sinclair

    Can this be any worse that the Star and Stripes uniforms over 4th of July weekend? Or the camo or pink flavored unis earlier this year?

    • Did you see the socks?

      • Barton

        I kinda liked the socks… but only b/c I really don’t like the long pants the players wear these days.

  • Don’t call Mauer a party-pooper, like I did elsewhere. After some additional research, it appears as though Joe has been in search of a nickname since at least 2012:

    “Minnesota Twins players often get lasting nicknames. Kent Hrbek was Herbie, Paul Molitor was Molly and Kirby Puckett was Puck.

    “How come Joe Mauer seems to just be Joe Mauer? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that …)

    http://mauermission.blogspot.com/2012/06/joe-mauers-nicknames.html

    • Glsai

      I always thought it was Baby Jesus?

  • Gary F

    Thanks for filling me in on this. I’ll be listening to Twins on the radio that weekend.

    • Not sure that Dan Gladden is a step up.

      • Gary F

        I won’t have to see the jerseys. It’s a promotion I can live without.

      • Angry Jonny

        Hey, now.

      • X.A. Smith

        You mean, “The Dazzle Man?”