How not to keep your DUI quiet

Here’s a pro tip from upstate New York: If you’re arrested for DUI and you want to keep it on the down low, don’t buy up all the newspapers in the area carrying your mugshot.

Joseph Talbot, 43, a bank vice president in Newark, N.Y., was picked up late last month when driving erratically.

After being brought to a state police office, he refused to give a breath sample and would not let troopers take his fingerprints or photo, saying he didn’t want to end up in the local newspaper, the Syracuse Post-Standard reports.

That earned him additional charges after the state police tried to tell him refusing would only make a bigger story in the paper.

His mugshot and story of his arrest appreared in the local Wayne County Times this week, so Talbot went with Plan B.

He bought up all the newspapers he could in town.

That was enough for the Associated Press to distribute the story and mugshot and spread the story nationally.

  • Dan

    He forgot to buy up all the copies of the internet.

  • Moffitt

    There are few things Americans enjoy more than a banker getting just desserts.

    • Jerry

      Who doesn’t enjoy desserts?

  • Barton

    “I know how I won’t have to disclose this arrest under my company’s Code of Conduct – I’ll make sure no one sees the public notices. Then it’ll be like it never happened. HR and Compliance will never know. mwhahahahaha”

    eejit.

  • John

    Aren’t a good number of newspapers delivered to people’s homes as part of a subscription? Pretty tough to hide the photo when your coworkers just might receive a copy dropped on their doorstep.

    This seems like a poorly thought out plan from a Scooby-Doo episode. I would expect more from someone who has the resources to buy up all the newsprint for a day.

    • He’d have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!

    • RBHolb

      Perhaps he hadn’t quite sobered up yet. This sounds like drunk logic.

  • Jeff C.

    The AP says that the Times of Wayne County paper is a 12,000-circulation paper. He bought around 1000 copies – not even 10%. Would someone who is smart enough to become a bank VP really be dumb enough to think they could bury this story by buying less than 10% of the papers? Also, the police report says he is 43 but it looks older than that. The Syracuse Post Standard says he graduated from Syracuse University in 1973 — 43 years ago. Did he lie to the police? So many questions (keeping me from more important things…)

    • Maybe the answer to saving the newspaper industry is to arrest a few more bank execs for DUI.

  • GoldFishy
  • John O.

    An early “Darwin Award” nominee for 2017. Can’t outrun those pesky electrons.

  • Rob

    Just goes to show that you can be educated and be an idiot at the same time.