The worst excuses of the speeding crackdown

The Minnesota Department of Public Safety today said a crackdown on speeding resulted in 13,124 speeding citations — many of which went to people doing more than 100 mph — and at least three lame excuses.

We submit for your inspection, the three lamest as provided by the DPS:

• Trying to get to McDonald’s before it closed.
• My multiple boxes of frozen meat are melting in the back seat.
• I was going 55 in a 55, or whatever the speed limit is in the area.

My brother was once stopped in Massachusetts for vastly outracing the speed limit. “It’s bad for the car to go so slow,” he claimed to have told the police officer.

There should be an extra citation for bad excuses. Or a reward for the effort.

Here’s the list of citations by area.

  • Kassie
    • Al

      Very helpful, actually, for those of us who are sometimes shopping for babysitters. But I’m not so worried about traffic violations in that case.

    • Rob

      That only works if you in turn have nothing driving-related for which you can be shamed.

      • Kassie

        I suppose that is true. All I have is one parking ticket (knock on wood), so I’m free to shame, shame, shame away. Though I actually think shaming doesn’t work for anything and prefer just to know who I don’t want to get in a car with.

  • jon

    My neighborhood lists the highest speed as “52 in 30 zone”

    I’m going to guess they got pulled over on my street! (most 30mph streets in town are twisty or narrow lanes, mine is one of a few that is 30 and a straight shot with wide shoulders… also a few school zones on my street)

  • MrE85

    Where does all the speeding ticket money go to? Good Question.

  • Gary F

    But officer, those eggs I had for breakfast aren’t sitting right.

    • Rob

      Just don’t hurl on the cop.

  • PaulJ

    55 miles per hour? I wasn’t going to be out that long (Steven Wright)

  • rallysocks

    I have always heard that you can claim the urgent need to relieve your bladder is the golden ticket to get out of a ticket. I asked local LEOs and they all said, “No.” Sigh. The older I get, the more likely it is that I will actually have to use this justification.

    • Rob

      I always carry a large Tupperware jug in my car.

      • Kassie

        Not so useful if you are a woman.

        • rallysocks

          Yeah, I was going to say that i would also have to invest in a GoGirl

  • And…Edina leads all the cities for citations.

    I’m shocked…

  • MikeB

    I had to get there before I ran out of gas

  • Rob

    I got out of a ticket for going 81 mph on I-90 by telling the cop that the landscape between Albert Lea and Sioux Falls is so boring and empty that I just wanted to get through it as quickly as possible…

    • rallysocks

      Honesty is the best policy.

  • mattaudio

    Minneapolis lists “No notable speeds recorded.” Of course, since they seem to not be too concerned with the ridiculous driving and speeding through neighborhood streets, a pandemic in this city.