Jared Allen rides into the sunset

As I inch closer to the day I retire, I find myself thinking more often about how I want to do it.

Until today, I pretty much had decided that I would call in and say “I’m not coming to work today; I retired yesterday” and that would be that.

Then I saw former Vikings player Jared Allen’s retirement announcement on Twitter today and now I need to find a horse and a coat that is so pristine it appears to have never been on a horse before. Cowboy hat optional.