Nine month old baby charged with attempted murder

This photograph taken on April 3, 2014 shows a Pakistani lawyer taking the thumb impression from nine-month-old toddler Mohammad Musa on a bail bond in Lahore. STR/AFP/Getty Images

Journalists are often challenged to find just the right word for their news stories. Pity the poor reporter for Reuters; he could only come up with “dysfunctional” to describe a justice system in which a 9-month-old baby can be charged with murder.

According a police inspector, a mob protesting gas cuts and price increases in Pakistan stoned police and gas company workers trying to collect overdue bills. Mohammad Musa Khan, 9 months, was in on it along with the rest of his family, according to the Reuters report today.

At his first appearance in court last week, Musa cried while his fingerprints were taken by a court official. Later, the baby sucked on a bottle of milk and tried to grab journalists’ microphones as his grandfather spoke to the media.

“He does not even know how to pick up his milk bottle properly, how can he stone the police?” Yasin asked journalists at the court last Thursday.

The child is now on the lam, according to family members.

  • That photo is insane! This all sounds like an article from The Onion.

    • I kept looking for the date to say April 1. But, Reuters?

    • Dave

      Can the Onion cliche please die?

      • Would “this article is so unbelievable that it sounds like satire” be more agreeable? Same sentiment but perhaps less corporate?

      • BReynolds33

        It’s not cliche if the article reads like something The Onion would write, is it? Cool that the first thing that came to your head when reading this article was to question whether or not we should compare things to The Onion, though.

      • joetron2030

        Says the person whose avatar is a person used in a regular Onion feature.

  • MrE85

    Way to stay classy, Pakistan. Don’t make me send in another drone.

    • Joe

      Yeah, it’s a sad day in American democracy when Pakistan can make us look bad by formally charging a 9 month old suspect as opposed to skipping straight to the extrajudicial killing.

  • Dave

    I dunno. Maybe you don’t bring your nine-month-old to a violent protest. I dunno.

    • Joe

      They studied Occupy footage to get that idea, the three days that “movement” lasted anyway…

    • BReynolds33

      Lest the 9 month old be charged with attempted murder? That’s some seriously flawed logic.

      I’m betting what happened was these parents woke up that morning and said to themselves, “You know what we should do today? Find an angry mob to participate in and get the baby arrested.”

      No possible way this goes down any other way, right?

      • Dave

        Yeah, violent protests are unheard of in Pakistan.

        • BReynolds33

          Indeed they are not, so Pakistanis should just never protest, for fear they might become violent. It couldn’t be dreamed that maybe it was a peaceful protest until the ridiculously corrupt and overly violent Pakistani police arrived.

          Nah. People should really just know their role and shut up and like it. All the while never leaving the house for fear that their 9 month old baby might be charged with a crime they have absolutely no capability to consider, let alone commit, all because protests turn violent in Pakistan.