Drinking games: The State of the Union is inebriated

The number of people who will pause to watch the State of the Union address tonight is but a fraction of the number of people who will watch a single football game this weekend. America has never quite figured out how to make public policy as interesting as grown men knocking each other senseless on the gridiron.

It’s not for lack of trying.

The State of the Union lends itself, for example, to “drinking games,” in which you listen for the key words or phrases, and act accordingly.

Here are some of the ones we’ve found. Must be over 21 to play. Of course.

drinkinggame.us
“If all goes well, you’ll be unconscious by the time they show the other party’s response.”

EVENT

# of
Drinks

Every
time he says....

Domestic Policy
health care shot of NyQuil (just kidding - you'd be out for the rest of the week)
healthcare.gov 1 shot of something bronze, silver or gold that you can buy three months after the liquor store proprietor put out an "open for business" sign
"childhood education" juice box
"fair share" take a "fair share" of your neighbor's drink
"common sense measures" 1, make sure to measure it out first
debt borrow a shot from a friend, promise you'll really pay it back this time
deficit finish your drink; borrow the drink of the person next to you and drink it too
investment (in reference to government spending) 1
investment ( in reference to individual discretionary financial decisions) hide your shot under your bed; drink it the next time the Dow drops 100 points
unemployment
1
jobs 1
+1 if you've been unemployed in the last year
+2 if you're unemployed today (we've been there)


In the Capital
“The most important rule: Always drink with Vice President Biden and Speaker Boehner. When they drink from their glasses of water, so do you, from your beer or cocktail.”

Mediaite

Take a shot…
…for every “State of the Union Drinking Game” article you’ve opened today.
…if Obama says: “The state of the union is strong.”
…if Obama says: “Jobs,” “deficit,” or “inequality.”

Eat one of those tiny bottle-shaped chocolates filled with liquor…
…if a Fox News host or pundit lambasts the president’s “recycled ideas” or “bully pulpit.”
…if an MSNBC host or pundit fawns over the president’s “legacy” or “vision.”

Take a swig of liquor…
…if Obama says: “Let me be clear.”
…if an Obama “uhhh” lasts more than two seconds. (Keep drinking for every second after two.)
…if a conservative pundit attacks Jason Collins on Twitter during the speech
…if Obama mentions the government shutdown.

Generation Opportunity (a conservative group)