The moral crusade on a meal check

Does two make a trend?

For the second time in under a month, a restaurant server got a lecture on the meal check about her sexual orientation instead of the tip she deserved.


In Bridgewater, N.J., Dayna Morales posted on the Have a Gay Day Facebook page that a couple stiffed her on the $95 bill.

The note says “sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life”

NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna – the mom proceeds to look at me and say “oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!”

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad ________ off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free. Sorry lady but I don’t agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you’re raising your kids but you didn’t see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service. Keep your damn mouth shut and pray we never cross paths again.

The latest incident comes a little more than two weeks after a nearly identical scenario played out in a Kansas restaurant when a young couple left a note on the back of the restaurant tab.

“Thank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD. (Homosexual slur) do not share in the wealth of GOD, and you will not share in ours,” the customer wrote. “We hope you will see the tip your (homosexual slur) choices made you lose out on, and plan accordingly. It is never too late for GOD’s love, but none shall be spared for (homosexual slur). May GOD have mercy on you.”

The Take Part blog points out that without tips, the price of a meal would go up:

The minimum wage in Kansas for tipped employees is $2.13 per hour, the same as the federal minimum. For people working in the service industry, like restaurant servers, the assumption is that the 15 or 20 percent diners tack onto the check will bump up their hourly take to something in the proximity of the non-tipped minimum wage—$7.25 per hour in Kansas (also the federal minimum).

So when you fill out the gratuity on a restaurant check, you’re engaging in a social compact—albeit a rather broken one, by most accounts—but the bottom line is, if you weren’t tipping, your meal would be more expensive.

In other words, it’s not a space to make some moral crusade.

Also, the Passionate Foodie writes, it doesn’t work:

Your note actually had the opposite effect than intended. Because of so many good and loving people, your server garnered many of generous tips from customers who oppose your brand of hate. That server has become even more popular because of your detestable actions.