‘When death feels like a good option’

Here I am again, violating the cardinal rule of the news media: If you talk about suicide, there’ll be more suicides. I’m pretty sure News Cut doesn’t have the influence to lead people to take their own lives (please eschew the obvious joke; this is a serious post), and people who kill themselves don’t suddenly realize there’s a thing called suicide that they didn’t know about until they read about it on a blog, or a newspaper, saw it on TV, or heard about it on the radio.

All of this serves as introduction to a blog post this week from funny guy Ben Huh, founder of the Cheezburger Network, who lives in Seattle.

In “When Death Feels Like A Good Option,” Huh describes spending a week in his room contemplating suicide at the age of 23, and how leaving “a really bad situation to go to a bad situation” actually helped:

I spent a week in my room with the lights off and cut off from the world, thinking of the best way to exit this failure. Death was a good option — and it got better by the day.

I don’t remember why I left my room. The most meaningful act I performed on my long climb out was to leave that room. It was the best decision I made in my life. I left that room and I got back to my job managing a very dysfunctional Internet radio startup where I was the cause of the dysfunction. It was a actually a positive thing that I left that room to leave a really bad situation to go to a bad situation.

It wasn’t for several months that death no longer became an option, but leaving that room and dealing with reality was the best antidote to a make-belief world where life just wasn’t worth it. When I was fantasizing about death as the panacea, the harshness of reality actually helped — it presented me with problems that I could actually solve.

Find the entire post here.

  • Jim Shapiro

    “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

    -Albert Einstein

    Sometimes the sane, live-saving act is simply getting the hell out of the dark room, so to speak.