Playing ‘chicken’ at the Capitol

Once you’ve seen the same movie four or five times, it doesn’t become that interesting any more, as you probably know. The same is true for “showdowns” between Gov. Tim Pawlenty and the Legislature, most of which have the same ending. Today — stop me if you’ve heard this before — the governor vetoed the DFL’s budget bill, which everyone knew was dead on arrival before it even arrived.

Now we’ll tell you about an attempt to override the governor’s veto, an effort that will likely fail. Next, we’ll have a story with each side accusing the other of failing to serve the state.

Until something happens, this is what we’re reduced to. Translating the governor’s veto message into “Swedish chef.”

Deer Speeker Kelleeher:

I hefe-a fetued un em retoorneeng Chepter 340, Huoose-a Feele-a 2037.

Es yuoo ere-a evere-a, Meennesuta und zee neshun ere-a ixpereeencing heesturic icunumeec chellenges. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Meennesutuns ere-a cuncerned ebuoot zeeur jubs und zee jubs ooff zeeur femeely members, neeeghburs, und freeends. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Meennesuta is elreedy oone-a ooff zee must heeghly texed stetes in zee neshun. Zee DFL prupusel tu edd a fuoort teeer incume-a brecket et a rete-a ooff 9.1 percent vuoold geefe-a Meennesuta zee 5t-heeghest incume-a tex rete-a in zee cuoontry. Bork bork bork! It vuoold elsu deesprupurshunetely herm smell booseeness oovners und hemper jub creeshun in oooor stete-a. Zee beell vuoold reeese-a texes fur eppruxeemetely 122,000 feelers, veet un eferege-a tex increese-a ooff $2,800 in 2010.

Mureufer, it is nunsenseecel tu increese-a texes oon jub prufeeders merely veeks effter I seegned a beell tu prufeede-a tex incenteefes fur Meennesuta booseenesses tu groo jubs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Thees behefeeur sends a cunffooseeng und meexed messege-a tu cumpuneees luukeeng tu prudooce-a jubs in Meennesuta.

Zee beell elsu dues fery leettle-a tu eddress zee boodget deffeecit in zee next beeennioom, leefeeng a neerly $5 beelliun deffeecit fur zee next Legeesletoore-a und Gufernur tu eddress. Um gesh dee bork, bork! It is irrespunseeble-a leedersheep nut tu seencerely ettempt tu eddress thees creeticel issooe-a, es I deed in my Febrooery boodget prupusel.

I luuk furverd tu vurkeeng veet yuoo oon un epprupreeete-a boodget sulooshun thet dues nut reeese-a texes oon Meennesutuns und seegnifficuntly redooces zee boodget deffeecit in thees boodget cycle-a und zee next oone-a.

To which the speaker replied:

Vell, ve-a certeeenly ere-a luukeeng fur iff meybe-a zeere-a ere-a thuse-a Repoobleecuns vhu hefe-a idees ebuoot vhet tu du. Zeey certeeenly ere-a in a plece-a vhere-a zeey hefe-a a fery strung hund reeght noo. Iff zeey ceme-a furverd und seeed ve’re-a interested deen sume-a furm ooff refenooe-a, ve-a vuoold prubebly be-a interested in telkeeng tu zeem.

We can learn a lot from the Swedish Chef about playing a game of chicken: