Manny Ramirez today became the latest star baseball player to be caught cheating. It turns out he was on a women’s fertility drug that dopers use to cover up their steroid use.
The Red Sox won two championships with Ramirez (disclaimer: I’m the biggest Manny Ramirez fan in America). In 2004, he propelled the team with 43 homers. He was, until today, a sure Hall of Famer. He’s #17 on the All-time homerun list. Five of the players ahead of him on that list are also confirmed or suspected users.
ESPN’s Bill Simmons, in a biting piece of satire, suggests that it’s impossible not to suspect a player who performs well, is cheating:
“And what about Big Papi?” he wonders. “Played for Minnesota, didn’t hit for power, came to the Red Sox, turned into the best slugger in the league, and as soon as they cracked down on steroids, he stopped hitting homers again. And he was friends with all the other Dominican players who were linked to performance-enhancing drugs. What about him?”
Silence. Nobody says anything.
Finally, my dad steps in: “He had an inside-outside swing at Minnesota, when he came to Boston, we encouraged him to pull the ball, so …”
“Come on, Gramps!” my son says. “That’s dumb, and you know it.”
Based on their performance so far, we can safely speculate the Minnesota Twins are the cleanest team in sports.