Crime wave

In days gone by, I joked with Mary Lucia of the Current that all the world’s strange things happen in Oklahoma. These days, it’s Ohio.

Dateline: Blue Ash, Ohio. (Begin sound of Dragnet theme here). The cops surrounded — I might be embellishing this a bit — the home of Edna Jester.

“Give the football back,” a cop on a loudspeaker says as the simultaneous sound of rifles being cocked (are rifles cocked? I don’t know, I don’t own a gun.) pierces the calm Ohio air.

“You’ll never take me alive, coppers” the old biddy shouts as she knocks the stained glass portrait of Boomer Esiason out to get a more tactical look at the situation.

In suburban Cincinnati, where they’ve had 8 property crimes all year, Edna — did I mention she’s 89 years old — is Public Enemy #1.

Some kids kept kicking a football into her yard, she kept it, and the police arrested her.

“It’s the only way to get through to these kids,” she said.

Film at 11.

  • MR

    The thing that you neglected to include in your summary is that after arresting the woman, the police kept the football as evidence. It’s a roundabout way of getting there, but the kids can’t throw their football onto her lawn, at least until the trial…

  • Bob Collins

    I’m guessing from the story that the kids aren’t the only ones with lots of time on their hands in Blue Ash.

  • bsimon

    So, according to the Blue Ash cops, I can leave my stuff in anyone’s yard any time I like & if they don’t return my property, they are theives? I can’t believe there’s a judge anywhere that wouldn’t throw this out as frivolous.

  • Minn Whaler

    Lighten Up Edna, the kids are playing football, not cooking meth, at least not at your house…