How to read the University of Minnesota’s efficiency evaluation

Remember: Dotted-line reporting of functional area leads to system officers. (thinkpanama via Flickr)

Last week I waded through the report on efficiency at the University of Minnesota, marveling at the buzzwords and tortured English that infest consultant-speak.

I vented to MPR business correspondent Martin Moylan, who told me where that stuff comes from: internet language generators.

He started me off with the dack.com Web Economy Bullsh-t Generator, which quickly produced the following expressions:

– “empower visionary networks”

– “leverage open-source portals”

– “productize front-end e-services”

He then sent me a similar site — the Educational Jargon Generator at ScienceGeek.net, which gave me:

– “harness authentic business partnerships”

– “expedite open-ended multiple intelligences”

– “innovate group-based applications”

Now we’re talking.

If only those generators could translate text, I’d be home free.