In a study of idiocy, men rule

In the event there was still any doubt, a couple of researchers today say they’ve got proof men are stupider than women.

Their work, published in the British Medical Jounal, focuses on the “idiotic risk,” as they describe it.

Winners of the Darwin Award must die in such an idiotic manner that “their action ensures the long-term survival of the species, by selectively allowing one less idiot to survive.” The Darwin Awards Committee attempts to make a clear distinction between idiotic deaths and accidental deaths. For instance, Darwin Awards are unlikely to be awarded to individuals who shoot themselves in the head while demonstrating that a gun is unloaded. This occurs too often and is classed as an accident. In contrast, candidates shooting themselves in the head to demonstrate that a gun is loaded may be eligible for a Darwin Award—such as the man who shot himself in the head with a “spy pen” weapon to show his friend that it was real.

To qualify, nominees must improve the gene pool by eliminating themselves from the human race using astonishingly stupid methods. Northcutt cites a number of worthy candidates. These include the thief attempting to purloin a steel hawser from a lift shaft, who unbolted the hawser while standing in the lift, which then plummeted to the ground, killing its occupant; the man stealing a ride home by hitching a shopping trolley to the back of a train, only to be dragged two miles to his death before the train was able to stop; and the terrorist who posted a letter bomb with insufficient postage stamps and who, on its return, unthinkingly opened his own letter.

The researchers studied 20 “winners” of the Darwin Award in order to deduce the “Male Idiot Theory,” or — get this — MIT.

“According to ‘male idiot theory’ (MIT) many of the differences in risk seeking behavior, emergency department admissions, and mortality may be explained by the observation that men are idiots and idiots do stupid things,” it said.

Boom!

What makes men more inspired toward idiocy? You’ll want to sit down for this.

“Anecdotal data support the hypothesis that alcohol makes men feel ‘bulletproof’ after a few drinks, and it would be naïve to rule this out,” it said. “For example, the three men who played a variation on Russian roulette alternately taking shots of alcohol and then stamping on an unexploded Cambodian land mine. (Spoiler alert: the mine eventually exploded, demolishing the bar and killing all three men.)”

  • Jack

    Alcohol – only truly useful to society as ethanol. Right Mr. Moffit? 🙂

    • MrE85

      Um, no comment.

  • davehoug

    Guys can easily be idiots is not news to any girl older than second grade and is not news to any guy older than high school 🙂

  • davehoug

    As recorded by cockpit voice recorders that most common last words of a pilot are “Oh sh*t” The most common last words of a pickup driver are “Hey Bubba, watch this”…….old joke.

  • I believe a “Darwin Award” can also be gotten by removing one’s reproductive organs from the “pool” in some way, usually after uttering the phrase, “Hold my beer and watch this!”

  • Charlie Hurd

    Men are also more heroic. If you read the news on a regular basis you’ll see that they take tremendous risks to save others. But, you won’t hear about this from MPR.

    • Guest

      …yeah, I’m not sure that’s entirely true.

    • Al

      I think men are more heroic than women in the media in the same way that grape salad is more representative of Minnesota than hotdish. That is to say: The stories reported depend on the reporters. When the majority of writers are men, it’s more likely that the majority of stories will also be about men.

      • Charlie Hurd

        I think you are bit behind the times. Today most of the “media” appear to be feminists, whether male or female. Trying to find positive or “first” stories about men is akin to finding a needle in a haystack.

        • C’mon , fellas. Dry your tears and toughen up that rough, leathery skin.

          It’s merely a little dose of scientific humor.

          • Charlie Hurd

            Try this type of response to a female and see your job threatened by a S-storm on Twitter. I like humor, but don’t like to ALWAYS be the butt of it.

          • Men as victims.

            I suppose we’re going to get to stories of custody battles and divorce court judges here pretty quick, arent’ we?

          • Charlie Hurd

            Let’s see most homeless are men, 3/4 of suicides are male, life expectancy 5-6 years less than women. PTSD, overwhelmingly male. Graduating from college at about 2/5 the rate of women. We’re not all rich, famous and privileged, so stop treating us that way.

          • Kassie

            Single men only make up 44% of homeless people. So, not most homeless are men. http://www.statisticbrain.com/homelessness-stats/

            Women are twice as likely to have PTSD

            http://psychcentral.com/lib/facts-about-ptsd/000662

          • Charlie Hurd

            You’re correct on the PSTD, my bad, but wrong on the homeless. “Most studies show that single homeless adults are more likely to be male
            than female. In 2007, a survey by the U.S. Conference of Mayors found
            that of the population surveyed 35% of the homeless people who are
            members of households with children are male while 65% of these people
            are females. However, 67.5% of the single homeless population is male,
            and it is this single population that makes up 76% of the homeless
            populations surveyed (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2007).”

          • Jack

            Many women, speaking from observation and not sstatistics look for a partner when faced with single parenthood or job loss. This would account for the noticeable difference between numbers of homeless men and numbers of homeless women. Women look to remarry and/or be taken care of.

          • Dave

            Because men getting a raw deal in custody and divorce battles is totally a myth, right?

          • Jerry

            Perhaps the only area where MRAs have a point

        • MrE85

          You’re really a chick, right? 🙂

    • BJ
    • BJ
      • Dave

        How did people tit-for-tat before the internet?

        Person 1 says something.
        Person 2 finds a link “disproving” Person 1’s statement.
        Person 1 does not click on link.

        Did Person 2 go to a library and look it up in a World Book encyclopedia, then go back to Person 1 with a photocopied article?

        • There’s fodder for a study right here in the comments section.

    • BJ
    • BJ

      It helps that women had not been allowed to serve on front lines. Overwhelmingly not allowed to join fire and police ranks, so yes if you mean that ‘more heroic’ is not letting women get the training and experience to ‘run into a burning building’ then yes Men are more heroic.

      • Charlie Hurd

        More like they choose not to do that type of work, or can’t do it because of physical limitations: http://www.nleomf.org/officers/remembering-9-11/

        • BJ

          Ack. how do you even respond to that.

        • davehoug

          SOOOOOOO guys are PAID to be heroic 🙂

          • Jack

            yes, so we need to qualify a true hero. ATrue Hero is an individual who goes to great lengths because it is right, unconditionally. (without pay)

        • Kassie

          For some reason (silly me) I though you’d have some statistic showing women don’t choose to do the work. Or proof that women are weak. Instead you have a link of officers killed on 9/11. What does that have to do with anything?