Giving up baby

“People who haven’t gone through this heartbreak don’t understand the helplessness you feel, the loss.”

That’s Callie Mitchell, a 25-year-old photographer for the University of Iowa’s Daily Iowan, talking about giving up a child for adoption.

Her story — a diary, really — covering the time from when she discovered she was pregnant last March, to yesterday, when she most recently talked with the adoptive parents, is featured today in the Daily Iowan.

At first, I thought I had made a mistake and that I should have my son with me. I cried a lot for the first month he was gone. Even now, I cry every once in a while because I miss him. In all honesty, this is the best thing I could have done for my son, and I did it completely out of love for him. He now has the perfect parents that give him so much love. I have no doubt they will raise him to be the best person he can be, and they will also be able to provide him with every opportunity to reach any goal he has for his life. I’ll always be there. I’ll always be involved and always be cheering him on and loving him from a distance.

It’s an incredible online project, which you can find here.

(h/t: Romenesko)

  • Julie Flotten

    Please change language…birthparents don’t “give up” on their children. They choose adoption. As an adoptive mother who has conversations with my kids birthparents, these moms did not give up by any stretch of the imagination. We ‘give up’ on waiting in a line that’s too long or being put on hold for too long…birth parents who choose adoption are making a heartbreaking and intentional choice for the future of their children.

    Please change your language to reflect this and to stop perptuating ideas that birthparents throw in the towel.

    Thank you.

  • BJ

    Heart wrenching story.

  • KTFoley

    I’d pause for a long deep breath before admonishing the person who’s telling her own story that her choice of words to describe her own experience isn’t correct enough for the rest of us.

    I have to trust that the birth parent means to say what she says. Giving something up entails a loss. It’s pretty clear from her story that giving up her baby felt like a loss to her.

    There is a world of difference, and not just syntax, between “giving something UP” and “giving UP ON something.” The mother/auther herself uses the former, over & over again. No one else even hints at the latter, in the story or in the News Cut post.

  • adoption situation

    Making a plan for you and your baby means that you control the decisions about how the adoption is going to work.