Frozen in time

Paul Douglas and I clearly don’t run with the same crowd. In his blurb in the Star Tribune today, Minnesota’s go-to guy for weather notes that no matter how cold it gets, we don’t care:


Thursday was, in all probability, the coldest day of the year with a low of -21 and a “high” of -6 F. Here’s a virtual high five – you just survived/endured the coldest day in 5 years. You made it. Think about that – most schools were open, people went to work, mail got delivered, people shopped, worked out, went about their business. Anywhere else in America they would have declared martial law and activated the National Guard. Here in Minnesota we just shrug our (frostbitten) shoulders and mutter “no big deal.”

You weenies in Michigan or Massachusetts simply wouldn’t understand the depth of our disinterest in how cold it is.

Coincidentally, the top story on the Star Tribune’s Web site this morning was about the weather:


Crushingly cold temperatures and dangerous wind chills kept their grip on Minnesota making roads slippery and forcing some schools to close.

The temperature in the Twin Cities at 6 a.m. was 21 below zero, but that was almost balmy compared to other spots in the state.

Not that anyone cares.

James Lileks, the funniest columnist in the Twin Cities (in the category of those columnists who are trying to be) appears more rooted in reality, possibly because he’s frozen to it:


If you’re lucky, your car’s heater can be set on “Blast From the Gaping Maw of Hell” and it thaws your orbs by the time you hit the highway. But I pass people whose teeth are chattering like wind-up gag dentures, and it’s obvious their heaters are incapable of emitting anything warmer than penguin flatulence.

These people need an advocacy group. These people need a spokesperson. Someone who will stand up and say what millions of us believe: THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M TIRED OF PRETENDING IT MAKES US BETTER PEOPLE.

By the way, some of us are going skating over at the Landmark Center outdoor rink at noon again. See you there? Or are you from Nebraska or something?

Update 2:18 p.m. – Courtesy of Kevin Hendricks

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You have to like the pluckiness of MPR’s Tom Weber who didn’t need a coat.