Apparently, I don’t have enough to worry about. The economy stinks. The Wild look like an expansion team. I don’t remember how to drive on dry pavement.
Now this: The earth is slowing down. It’s gotten so slow that the Department of Time is going to add a second to 2008, which has already been acting like the drunken relative who didn’t know when to leave.
The second will be added on Wednesday at 5:59:59 p.m.
According to the experts, the earth is slowing because of the braking action of tides, snow or the lack of it at the polar ice caps, solar wind, space dust and magnetic storms, although I’ve always suspected the Foshay Tower was somewhat responsible.
At the present rate, it’ll be billions of years before the earth stops rotating — around the time the Minnesota U.S. Senate recount ends — and inhabitants of Planet Earth engage in the interstellar version of Wheel of Fortune.