How do we rank?

If there's one thing you can count on as a reporter, it's this: Your email inbox will receive a steady stream of news releases proclaiming that your state ranks #27 in livability or #4 in happiness. Such email is often used to test the "delete" function on a reporter's email account.

Sure, there are rankings that matter -- like a study that found Minneapolis has the widest gap between minority and white unemployment (tied with Memphis).

But many rankings are little more than advertisements.

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There's "15 Most Popular Locations for Bloodsucking Pests," a ranking of the most bedbug infested cities provided by Terminix. Minneapolis was #15 in 2010. It didn't make the list this year.

Not to be outdone, pest control rival Orkin has its own list with a decidedly less dramatic title: "Orkin's Top 50 Bed Bug Cities." This year's list also has Minneapolis/St. Paul at #15. (Cincinnati was a blood-sucking #1 and Salt Lake City was #50).

And then there's even more specific rankings. Did you know that Minneapolis is the seventh best city to find a babysitter? Or the third least-stressed of the county's 50 largest metro areas? Or that we have the 56th best drivers compared to fellow motorists in the nation's 200 largest cities? (Now there's a specific ranking for you.) Or that we're the gayest city in America? Or the most literate?

We're even the fourth most peaceful state, according to a U.S. Peace Index, being out-pacified by only three states - Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine. We provide our baseball team with the second most enthusiastic fan support in the nation. Minneapolis is even a "Top 100 Place to Live," according to a website called Relocate America.

In short, we're a relaxed, gay-friendly, peaceful place, where bedbugs are (somewhat) few and the babysitters are plentiful.

But before you get too excited, I have one more ranking for you to consider.

When it comes to deer collisions, we're in the top ten. #8, to be exact. And, yes, that's way ahead of Hawaii, where the odds of an antler-windshield pairing are 1 in 6,267, or, as State Farm Insurance puts it, "approximately equal to the odds that you are a practicing nudist."

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some emails I need to delete.