A cut-and-paste political ad
I'm writing this as a public service to all those folks out there who specialize in writing biting political ads who are having a hard time coming up with something for the next campaign.
I was just watching the Minnesota House debate the omnibus health finance bill and somebody offered and amendement -- I can't remember what it was about, maybe health care for kids or something -- and on a voice vote the speaker -- in this case Greg Davids -- said "all in favor?" followed by a not-very-signficant number of "ayes" and then he said "all opposed?" followed by a ringing chorus of "no's" delivered not only with passion and gusto, but with the sense that they thought if they said it loud enough, they could also skip mass on Sunday.
It was then that I realized that the political parties are completely missing out on a great ad. And mine is a bipartisan effort, the first party that steals it can have it. Just change the issues as you see fit.
Want to hear it? Fine. Here goes.
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Ahem.
(Quiet, subdued political ad narrator voice with just the right amount of exasperation?)
When it came to protecting your old mother from the ravaging effects of old age....how did Minnesota (fill in name of party affiliates here) vote?
(tape) "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
When little Johnny wanted health care for his sick sister, what did Minnesota (fill in name of party affiliates here) say to him...."
(tape) "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
When Joe the Businessperson wanted to open his business to employ 5,000 Minnesotans, did Minnesota (fill in name of party affiliates here) let him?
(tape) "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
When Charlie the drug dealer held a syringe to the arm of Minnesota's children, did Minnesota (fill in name of party affiliates here) in the House/Senate pass a bill to stop him?
(tape) "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
This November, when (name of candidate here) comes looking for your vote. There's something you can tell him/her:
(tape) "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Paid for by XXXXXXX. I'm (name of candidate here). And I approve of this message (whisper) which I don't really understand, but they told me I do."
What do you think? If you like it, better steal that audio soon, though. The bill just passed 132-0.